Anne Marie Seibel, partner at Bradley
Momentum Alumna Anne Marie Seibel recently published a chapter in the book, “Her Story: Lessons in Success from Lawyers Who Live It.” Anne Marie should know. She is a very successful complex litigation partner in multi-forum, multi-plantiff cases at Bradley law firm. She is active in both professional and local communities, married to a research physician, and mother of two (read her impressive bio here.) How does she balance it all? As she explains in the book, she doesn’t. In fact, she doesn’t even try.
Here are three key take-aways from her chapter:
Ban balancing.
As Anne Marie explains in the book, her goal is to manage all aspects of life, not balance them. When you are ambitious, there will always be more things you want to do than you have resources to accomplish. Life is not about striking the perfect balance, it’s about prioritizing goals and making tough decisions with limited resources. Anne Marie advises professionals to “spend time allocating the available resources to cover the responsibilities you have” so that you can focus fully on whatever task is at hand, knowing the other important priorities are covered.
Take the long view.
There are many paths to success, and no particular time-table for achieving them. Time is one of the constraints we all have, and at least that’s a level playing field. Anne Marie advises “managing your own expectations and developing reasonable definitions of success.” One of the most important demands on time comes when you have children. Anne Marie cautions against viewing motherhood on one side and career on the other. Instead, she suggests looking at the role of a working parent as a conductor, “asking the wind section to play more loudly while the strings provide the background,” she writes. “All you are doing is adjusting the mix at any given point in time.”
Choose the right team.
Every good manager knows how important the team is to long term success. Choosing a spouse or partner who genuinely shares your life goals, supports you at work, and does their share at home. Beyond your life partner, you need the right team at work, too. Get to know your colleagues well, don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it, and always lend a hand when they need it. Be transparent about your long-term plan and any changes in priorities, goals, and resources. The more your colleagues understand all of your priorities, the more they can empathize and support you on your journey. Finally, says Anne Marie, “develop genuine networks of support–not comparison.” It’s senseless to spend time comparing isolated aspects of life and career with those of colleagues. It’s far better to seek others of “varied life experience and age” to gain from their perspective, and from their support.
In closing, Anne Marie reminds us: “When others ask how you are balancing it all, be sure to answer, ‘I’m managing just fine, thank you.'”
